Custody Question
What people in these threads say
Three threads in r/legaladvice come from parents and siblings trying to work out what a court would actually allow when children live across state or national borders, or when an existing custody arrangement no longer fits. In the first, a Minnesota resident says their parents moved to rural Philippines about four years ago to run a Bible college, taking two siblings, now 12 and 18. The family are US citizens and may still technically be California residents. The poster has learned that the father's sermons have drawn serious threats against the family and wants to know whether they can do anything to bring the 12-year-old back.
The second poster has lived in New Hampshire for the past year, while the child's father lives in Virginia. They have no court order. She plans to move to Texas, partly because she and her mother need somewhere cheaper to live and partly because the father's family is there, but he backed out of the move and took a job in DC. She is considering getting an official custody order and has had conflicting advice.
The third poster, in Indiana, agreed to 50/50 custody in February 2025 while under stress after having another baby, even though her lawyer told her repeatedly she did not have to; the lawyer added a safeguard giving her final decision-making on medical and educational matters. She now describes the co-parent as negligent, mentions candy, sugar packets and Happy Meals she has seen in person and over FaceTime, and doubts a court would weigh her observations or what a 4-year-old says.
The replies are short and practical. On the Philippines case, one commenter says the Philippines has jurisdiction over the sister by now, so the poster would need an attorney there, and doubts it could succeed. On the Texas move, a commenter says a court is relatively unlikely to let her take the child to Texas over the father's objection; she replies that she gave him notice and that they never had a formal agreement. In the Indiana thread, one person suggests asking the co-parent's ex-wife to testify, which she says the ex-wife has agreed to, and another argues that some parents seek 50/50 to avoid child support. What all three lack is a clear picture, before paying a lawyer, of which court has jurisdiction and what evidence counts.
“It is relatively unlikely a court will allow you to take this child to Texas over the father’s objection.”
u/reddituser1211 on Reddit
“Perhaps you could ask his ex-wife to testify regarding his parenting? Just a thought.”
u/LingoLady65 on Reddit
At a glance
This is a recurring legal question: 4 separate Reddit threads asked a version of it between Oct 23, 2026 and Oct 27, 2026, in r/legaladvice. It has appeared in the daily top list on 3 different days, peaking at #5. The threads keep coming back to the same themes: child, custody, endangerment, possible. That repetition is the signal — many people are hitting the same wall, so it's worth understanding before you post your own version.
How often does it come up?
| Date | Daily rank |
|---|---|
| Oct 23, 2026 | #316 |
| Oct 25, 2026 | #5 |
| Oct 27, 2026 | #236 |
Where is it being discussed?
- r/legaladvice: child custody/possible child endangerment?
- r/legaladvice: Conflicting advice on child custody
- r/legaladvice: Child Custody Question
- r/legaladvice: Custody Question
What's a sensible first step?
General legal checklist (not specific advice for this thread):
- Write a dated timeline of events and save every document, message and receipt.
- Don't sign anything or make admissions until you understand your position.
- Identify the jurisdiction - rules vary hugely by country and state.
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